I am a student at Tawa Intermediate School in Wellington, New Zealand. I am in Room 15 and a member of the amazing Huia Syndicate. My teacher is Stephanie Thompson.

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

The CrossCountry

I feel nervous I just want to go home and paint or read or do other types of stuff I don't feel like running
at the moment, ahhh! they just told us that the year 7's are running first I have to go outside,now I feel even more nervous.FACING ROOM SIXTEEN ON THE CLAMP! POUAKAI!!! I wonder why we're not running already oh yeah I forgot training, wait a second we're doing training right now!
oh well I just do it as slow as I can so I can save energy,FACING THE FENCE ON THE CLAMP!
POUAKAI!!!.

Training is over now Mr.O.C lined us up he sort of gave us a pep talk not really but still, he sort of did but anyway he lined us up in three lines and blew the whistle and then we began to run.

It felt great to run for a little while until the middle of cross country I began to feel tired I didn't want to run anymore so I began to jog instead of running.

Ahhh!!! I feel so tired I don't want to jog anymore but I'm almost done  I'm almost to the finish just a little more I can hear my friends cheering for me well some of them were, I'm done I finished the cross country YES!!! I'm so glad that I finished the cross country and I found out that 80 or 70 something. Well I have to go now so bye. Untitled

1 comment:

  1. Hi Michelle
    I like that you've started your story off with a bang, putting the reader in your frame of mind.

    One thing you need to work on is show, not tell. Instead of just saying 'I feel so tired" you could perhaps write that your legs were wobbling like jelly, or you were panting for breath.

    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting on my Blog. I appreciate comments that can help me improve my learning.