I am a student at Tawa Intermediate School in Wellington, New Zealand. I am in Room 15 and a member of the amazing Huia Syndicate. My teacher is Stephanie Thompson.

Monday, 13 August 2012

On your marks!

On your marks get set... GO!

I dive into the pool and start swimming I'm taking the lead and just a few more inches and I just won I can't believe that I just won the race I walk to the stand where Judges judge and where they put you against other people my mum came running up to me and gave me a huge hug''congradulations darling, do you want anything to eat anything to drink?you look a bit pale darling do you feel alright?'' mum said '' I'm alright mum and no thank you'' I said '' are you sure?''mum asked with a doubtful face ''yes I'm sure,can we go now that was my last race for today'' I said '' okay but on the way back your gonna thank your coach okay'' mum said ''Okay'' I said''And can we go and get McDonald's?'' I asked ''Certainly not''mum said...

TO BE CONTINUED

1 comment:

  1. Hi Michelle
    Thanks for sharing your story. I think that you've give a great start to story but I'm a bit concerned that you've haven't used much punctuation. If in doubt, go back and read your sentences out loud to check for fullstops.

    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting on my Blog. I appreciate comments that can help me improve my learning.