I am a student at Tawa Intermediate School in Wellington, New Zealand. I am in Room 15 and a member of the amazing Huia Syndicate. My teacher is Stephanie Thompson.

Monday, 13 August 2012

On your marks!

On your marks get set... GO!

I dive into the pool and start swimming I'm taking the lead and just a few more inches and I just won I can't believe that I just won the race I walk to the stand where Judges judge and where they put you against other people my mum came running up to me and gave me a huge hug''congradulations darling, do you want anything to eat anything to drink?you look a bit pale darling do you feel alright?'' mum said '' I'm alright mum and no thank you'' I said '' are you sure?''mum asked with a doubtful face ''yes I'm sure,can we go now that was my last race for today'' I said '' okay but on the way back your gonna thank your coach okay'' mum said ''Okay'' I said''And can we go and get McDonald's?'' I asked ''Certainly not''mum said...


1 comment:

  1. Hi Michelle
    Thanks for sharing your story. I think that you've give a great start to story but I'm a bit concerned that you've haven't used much punctuation. If in doubt, go back and read your sentences out loud to check for fullstops.



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